Hello everyone and welcome to post #25 of the blog. I usually don’t put two blogs this close together but I do have a few things to complain about, plus the last blog did very well as far as views (breaking records good) so I just thought why not. So without further adieu, on with the blog!
First thing’s first: Hey Iraq, what the fuck happened? How could you have possibly shit the bed this badly? The United States, also known as the greatest military in the entire world, just trained you for years! We didn’t show up and train you over a weekend at Kamp Krusty, we trained you for YEARS! Then we decide to leave, and to be fair, you clearly weren’t ready to handle things on their own. I think quite a few American commanders knew that, but hey when the big guy in the White House says leave, you leave. So lay that blame at the feet of who you will, be it Bush, Obama, or the head honcho in Iraq. But now this group called ISIS, which from what I’ve read is a Sunni-based extremist group. When I say extremist, I mean eeeeexxxxxxtttttrrrreeemmmmiiissssttt!!!!
Like so extreme that Al-Qeada, yes THAT Al-Qeada, kicked ISIS out of their extremism club for being too extreme! That’s like being kicked out of Weight Watchers for being too fat, like being kicked out of Brazil for loving soccer too much, or like being kicked out of California for having too many beanies. So now they’re on the move, and moving fast. So fast that the Iranians are sending troops to help out the Iraqi government. Which is weird because the Iranians couldn’t give a fuck about anyone, with the exception of Israel. Now the big discussion is whether the U.S will send troops. Obama already sent a few hundred troops to protect the embassy in Baghdad, which to me seems unnecessary. I mean why not just, you know….evacuate the embassy? Since we’re all about leaving foreign countries and whatnot now. Plus if we really wanted to help, why not just fire up the AC-130 and the Predator drones? I’ mean that’s what they’re there for right? Missiles/drones is the most we should do in my opinion, it’s not like there’s going to be a winner in this situation. One side is to weak to fight off a militia and the other side is ready to stone a woman for reciting her ABC’s.
For a while now I for some reason have noticed more and more the run of the mill, everyday stupid shit that people do. Not bad stuff mind you, usually just stuff that is either dumb, tuned out, or just plain old narcissistic. I’ve been trying to think of a way to wrap it up into one nice little blurb, mainly so that by calling it out, we can not do it anymore, you know, like to progress as a society or some shit like that. Also just so you’re aware this segment might be a tad philosophical and metaphorical, so if you don’t like it then feel free to bitch, and likewise if you like it also feel free to bitch. There’s no easy way to segue into this so I’m just going to say it: Every person is on a journey throughout their lives, some make it further than others, but all are on the journey nonetheless. I’m talking about the journey from Asshole Valley to Mount Cool Guy. Let’s be honest, there are things people will do that just irritate most of us, not irritate like curse them out in a Wendy’s but more like look at your watch and tap your foot while in line. Also keep in mind this is just my opinion, like I said it’s little everyday stuff that annoys me, but I’ll assume that some if not most of it also annoys you. So here ya go, the list of things that in my opinion you shouldn’t do if you want to move out of Asshole Valley and onto Mount Cool Guy.
- “Hold on, I think I might have some change.”-I get it, you have some change in your pocket you want to get rid of, but guess what, why don’t you go home and put in in a jar like every other fucking person and take it to the bank once a month? There’s a line behind you, and the last thing we (the line) need is for you to struggle to find 78 cents, give the guy a dollar and let’s go.
- Person who drives between 50-55mph exactly-Here’s a good rule of thumb: Go between 5 and 10 miles over the speed limit, depending on whether it’s in city limits or not. By you going 50 it means you’re going just fast enough that I have to gun it to get around you. This is the road equivalent of the assholes who walk 3-4 wide in a hallway so you can’t get around them.
- Driver who comes to a complete stop at the railroad tracks with no trains in sight-If you’re a bus or a van with the “This vehicle stops at all railroad crossings” you get a pass. I’m talking about just your regular everyday driver. Listen asshole, there’s no trains within 5 miles of here, so head on a swivel and foot on the gas.
- Put upon sigh guy (or gal)-This type of person is most prevalent at smaller stores, like book stores for example, where the aisles are both smaller and there’s usually people standing around looking at items. I don’t feel like it’s too much to ask for you to take a step to one side if I (or anyone) is trying to get through. I mean it’s not like I’m standing at your door asking if you want to talk about Jehovah or asking to name your first born. This asshole is a close relative to the person who walks out the wrong door at supermarkets and then looks at you like you just bicycle kicked puppy when you go in the right door.
So those are just a few of the the people who have firmly pitched their tent in Asshole Valley, or in some cases even Mount Douche. Don’t be those people, the one thing they all have in common is they really don’t give a damn about the people around them. So my larger message here is this: Be considerate of people around you.
I was going to talk about Lebron James/Miami Heat stuff but I’ll save that for another time. In the meantime here’s your dumb tweet of the week, albeit it’s a bit old but stupid is forever!
I’ve also decided to make a minor change to the blog, as I’m going to replace the Disney song of the week with just any old song. The song I chose this week I heard on the radio a few days ago from a band I hadn’t heard of up until then. It’s a great song, has solid lyrics and I really liked it, so hopefully you do too.
That’s all for now, thanks for reading and as always questions, comments, and facebook likes are welcome. Enjoy your cute GIF of the week!