Holy shit. Welcome to blog post #27, two and a half fucking years after blog post #26. So for those of you who are new here, I used to do a blog which I guess had a decent following. This isn’t me being a prick and being like “hey man, people really loved my thoughts.” I don’t even love my thoughts, people just came here for funny gifs and stream of consciousness thoughts on current events. So after the blog ended, I had a couple people message me or talk to me in person and be like, “hey, what the fuck, where’s the blog?” To which my response always was that I’m too busy. Well I’m still too busy, but I feel like I have a duty at this point, because there’s way too much fucked up shit going on in the world, and way to many shitty ass gifs going around. We have a gif library on Facebook Messenger! That’s way to much power to trust to the masses, you guys. Trump has the nuclear launch codes, but some random 10 year old can just post gifs to his hearts content! Guess which one is more worrisome. I can only really compare it to like, a blind guy is crossing the street, and you either want to help him or just leave it be and see how it plays out, like he can handle it. Well bad news, he can’t handle it, so I’m back with my stream of consciousness bullshit and funny gifs, enjoy!
Let’s kick it off with talking about Trump, because I mean why not. I’m at the point with Trump where I just sit back and go “Well, I’m banking on about 70/30 negative to positive stuff that he does.” Like, he puts a ban on bureaucrats or politicians becoming lobbyists for a certain number of years, ok sweet. Then he goes and talks shit about the Celebrity Apprentice, which, ok, but why? I mean, admittedly, there was plenty about the Arnold-centric Celebrity Apprentice to talk shit about. For example, instead of saying “You’re fired,” he said “You’re terminated.” Which was probably the idea of some bright eyed producer who thinks his next stop is SNL. Whoever came up with the idea that Arnold just recycle his catchphrases should be put on the same shitty island where the guy who told him to do all those “Mobile Strike” commercials/abortions will be.
But still, put yourself in Trump’s spot, you’re the leader of the free world. Why is your morning agenda: ISIS, twitter, taxes, talk shit on Celebrity Apprentice, immigration, twitter, twitter? But anyway, I get it, there’s a billion things to make fun of Trump for, so I’m sure that’ll be a weekly installment, but I also get that most people are just sick of political stuff in general, so I’ll try to keep it to a minimum. In the meantime, here’s cooking with Coolio.
The Oscars were last week, and it was fantastic. No, I didn’t watch it, couldn’t give less of a shit honestly. But I love watching deliciously awkward moments, especially on live TV. So they’re up there announcing the winner of best picture, and the cast and everyone goes up onstage only to find out that, sorry, wrong movie, go sit back down. Awesome. It’s hilarious on two levels. First, just on the micro level of everyone freaking out and just the like, you guys had one job, get the right movie. It’s not like you spun a wheel 5 minutes before to decide who won. So it’s great on that level, but then you get to the next level, where it’s huge news and like companies in charge of it are getting fired and whatnot. Again, I get it, but still. Just imagine the CEO of the company in charge sitting there watching this whole fuck up, and he’s just like, well damnit, we’re done. I think I just love the idea of the same people freaking out about this one night and then literally the next morning, they have to go back to real world shit, and be like, “well, yeah that Oscars screw up really bothered me, but today ISIS or pediatric cancer is what I’m worried about.”
That’s all for now, thanks for reading and as always questions, comments, and facebook likes are welcome. Enjoy your cute GIF of the week!